Yesterday, March 15th, was a special day for John and me. Two years ago on that day, John asked me to be his wife. I remember every detail of his proposal, from the look on his precious face to the fireworks that were literally going off behind us. It was the start of the most exciting and rewarding adventure of my life and I am so thankful that God brought him into my life at just the right time.
Before John came along, I really stunk at the whole dating thing. When I was younger, my relationships were over before they ever had a chance to begin due to my enthusiasm and immaturity. As I grew up, relationships with the opposite sex were made even more complicated by jealous girls and nosy busybodies. Once that phase ended, there was a very long stretch of no prospects and no light at the end of the tunnel, but somehow, I found myself being in or being invited to an endless number of weddings - very sad. I went from being alone, to lonely, to totally desperate. I dated guys I never should have even spoken to, much less hung out with, and in addition to being lonely again after it ended, I was also humiliated and embarassed. When a really amazing guy would come along, I would turn into a spaz and either be really sarcastic and obnoxious around them or totally awkward and indifferent towards them. Where do girls get this idea that if we like someone, we should make sure that they never, ever find out??? If we were in a group and the guy I liked was there, I would hang out with other guys just so that the guy I liked wouldn't find out that I liked him. If people asked me if I liked one of my guy friends that I hung out with a lot, I would say no and go on with life. But if someone asked me if I liked the guy that I actually did like, I would deny it like crazy. Then there was the agony of trying to analyze and find hidden meaning in everything the guy would say or do - no, the thought of just talking to him never crossed my mind - I was a total spaz.
Thankfully, after I decided to give up on liking anyone and decided to focus all of my energy on my family, friends, and ministry, John walked into my life. I'll never forget being in a pretty serious meeting with my boss and all of a sudden, the side door to his office flew open and John almost fell through the doorway. His face turned bright red when he realized that not only had he mistakenly opened an office door instead of the door to the stairway, but the girl that he has just asked out that week was sitting there watching the whole embarassing event. It was then and there that I knew that it would be different this time.
I was comfortable with John from day one and never felt insecure or awkward around him. I would invite him over to the house just to hang out and greet him at the door with no makeup on and my hair in a knot on top of my head. I was open and honest with him and found that he really liked that about me. We would talk for hours and share anything and everything about our lives with each other. Being able to be myself and feel comfortable in his presence was such a drastic change from all of the other relationships I had either been in or tried to be in (unsuccessfully, of course).
John's proposal was magical and romantic and most of all, the most sincere words anyone has ever spoken to me. Our wedding was without a doubt the best day of my whole life and every day I get to spend with him is a blessing. He is not only my best friend and my husband - he is the person I know without a doubt that God created to lead me and walk with me through the rest of my life. He is mine - I love to think about that and let it marinate in my mind - he belongs to me and I belong to him - it is amazing! Then, if I let my mind drift a little bit further, I can see God's example of his love for us in His gift of marriage. We, the church, are his bride - we belong to Him and He belongs to us. I pray that as I grow in my marriage to John that I can see and also model God's example of His love and His desire to have that same bond with us.