From My Brother-In-Law, Bryan :)

From "Will You" to "I Do"

Yesterday, March 15th, was a special day for John and me. Two years ago on that day, John asked me to be his wife. I remember every detail of his proposal, from the look on his precious face to the fireworks that were literally going off behind us. It was the start of the most exciting and rewarding adventure of my life and I am so thankful that God brought him into my life at just the right time.

Before John came along, I really stunk at the whole dating thing. When I was younger, my relationships were over before they ever had a chance to begin due to my enthusiasm and immaturity. As I grew up, relationships with the opposite sex were made even more complicated by jealous girls and nosy busybodies. Once that phase ended, there was a very long stretch of no prospects and no light at the end of the tunnel, but somehow, I found myself being in or being invited to an endless number of weddings - very sad. I went from being alone, to lonely, to totally desperate. I dated guys I never should have even spoken to, much less hung out with, and in addition to being lonely again after it ended, I was also humiliated and embarassed. When a really amazing guy would come along, I would turn into a spaz and either be really sarcastic and obnoxious around them or totally awkward and indifferent towards them. Where do girls get this idea that if we like someone, we should make sure that they never, ever find out??? If we were in a group and the guy I liked was there, I would hang out with other guys just so that the guy I liked wouldn't find out that I liked him. If people asked me if I liked one of my guy friends that I hung out with a lot, I would say no and go on with life. But if someone asked me if I liked the guy that I actually did like, I would deny it like crazy. Then there was the agony of trying to analyze and find hidden meaning in everything the guy would say or do - no, the thought of just talking to him never crossed my mind - I was a total spaz.

Thankfully, after I decided to give up on liking anyone and decided to focus all of my energy on my family, friends, and ministry, John walked into my life. I'll never forget being in a pretty serious meeting with my boss and all of a sudden, the side door to his office flew open and John almost fell through the doorway. His face turned bright red when he realized that not only had he mistakenly opened an office door instead of the door to the stairway, but the girl that he has just asked out that week was sitting there watching the whole embarassing event. It was then and there that I knew that it would be different this time.

I was comfortable with John from day one and never felt insecure or awkward around him. I would invite him over to the house just to hang out and greet him at the door with no makeup on and my hair in a knot on top of my head. I was open and honest with him and found that he really liked that about me. We would talk for hours and share anything and everything about our lives with each other. Being able to be myself and feel comfortable in his presence was such a drastic change from all of the other relationships I had either been in or tried to be in (unsuccessfully, of course).

John's proposal was magical and romantic and most of all, the most sincere words anyone has ever spoken to me. Our wedding was without a doubt the best day of my whole life and every day I get to spend with him is a blessing. He is not only my best friend and my husband - he is the person I know without a doubt that God created to lead me and walk with me through the rest of my life. He is mine - I love to think about that and let it marinate in my mind - he belongs to me and I belong to him - it is amazing! Then, if I let my mind drift a little bit further, I can see God's example of his love for us in His gift of marriage. We, the church, are his bride - we belong to Him and He belongs to us. I pray that as I grow in my marriage to John that I can see and also model God's example of His love and His desire to have that same bond with us.

Thankful

Thank You, Lord!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing Grace

I've been hurt - a lot. Maybe not any more than the average person, but still - it hurts each time. I was hurt as a child, I was hurt in high school, I was crushed in college, and then blasted BIG TIME as an adult. I am sure you can relate - I mean, who hasn't been hurt in this broken world??

I keep hearing this song on the radio by Brandon Heath - it's called I'm Not Who I Was. Each time I hear it, I think of different people in my life who have hurt me (or whom I have hurt) and it makes me wish I could play this for each of them today. Thank God, because of His grace and mercy, I am definitely not who I was, and even though I am not who I want to be yet (I have SO far to go!), I am so glad that I am not who I used to be. I am so thankful that He has forgiven me for all of my mistakes and rebellion and all of the times that I have broken His heart. I am also grateful for the strength He has given me to extend that grace to those who have broken my heart. He is changing me day by day and using each and every hurt to make me more like Him, and I am so thankful.

Check out the video and read the lyrics below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpOLyR8MwiA

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around to forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing in amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how I'm not who I was

Disney Cruise

I just got back from one of the best vacations I have ever taken! My parents, my sister and her family, and I took a 3-day Disney Cruise. Let me say up front that it was not just for kids!! When John and I took a 6-day cruise for our honeymoon, I was bored after day 3 and SICK for days 4, 5, and 6. On the Disney Cruise, I felt great and didn't have enough time to do ALL of the things that I wanted to do! The weather was amazing (especially after a LONG Georgia winter) and I had a great time with my family. I missed John like crazy (poor thing had to work) but it was an amazing trip.

Here are some of the highlights...


Jordan, our cruise director :)


Family Photo


Captain Jordan Sparrow


Pirate Night!


The REAL Flying Dutchman!!

We're talking about going on another Disney Cruise in December! I can hardly wait!!!

Least Favorite Songs Ever

After watching American Idol last night, John and I started talking about the songs that we really can't stand. Here are just a few of the songs we came up with:

• McArthur Park (Someone Left the Cake Out in the Rain) by Richard Harris (dumbest song ever)
• Ironic by Alanis Morrisette (seriously Alanis, learn the meaning of the word "ironic" before you use it in a song)
• Who Let the Dogs Out - Baha Men (although it does make me think of a hilarious story about the Baha Men that Scott Meyer once told Jenn and me)
• Tubthumping - Chumbawamba (ridiculous)
• Kokomo by The Beach Boys (and putting John Stamos and his giant hair in the video did NOT help)
• Christmas Shoes by NewSong (horrible!)
• Old Red by Blake Shelton (a perfect example of why some people hate country music)
• Underneath Your Clothes by Shakira (why???)

What would you add to this list??

Taxes, Cruises, and Other Random Thoughts that Somehow Tie Together

Over the past 6 months, my family has been planning to take a Disney Cruise for my dad's 60th birthday. After getting over the shock that my dad is going to be 60 (which not only makes him older, but also makes me not 21 anymore), John and I started thinking, praying, and trying to decide if we were going to go or not. On the one hand, it is probably the ONLY time this will ever happen in my family. My dad is not much of a vacation person - definitely NOT a beach person - and as we all get older and our families get larger, it is not going to be as easy to get all of us to go on one vacation together. On the other hand, cruises are not free and our money is tight. We're not making as much money here as we thought we would and to spend a ton of money on a cruise just doesn't seem like something a wise person would do.

After many months of thinking it over, John decided that I should definitely go on the cruise and we could pay for it with our tax money. We have had incredible tax returns the past 2 years, so he wanted to use part of the money to send me on the cruise with my family. Although he REALLY wants to go, he doesn't feel like it would be a good financial move for both of us to go, so he's going to go to Kentucky to visit his sisters while I am gone - he can fly for free and stay there for free, so no money worries there! I called Disney, made my reservation, and started to get really excited about the cruise. It all was sounding great, until...

John has been using an amazing guy in Miami to do his/our taxes for many years. The guy specializes in doing taxes for people in aviation - there are so many write-offs and deductions that pilots can take and this guys knows all of them. John has been gathering all of our tax information over the past 3 weeks (which in itself was hilarious as I had 4 jobs and he had 3 jobs last year, not to mention all of the other paperwork we have!) and sent it all to Brian the Tax Guy last week. While John was away on a trip last week, he called to tell me that he had good news and bad news. The good news was that Brian wasn't charging us his usual price and we were getting some money back. (Brian is an amazing guy!) The bad news was that it was significantly less than what we expected due to some things that I thought had been taken care of that hadn't (like John's deductions from his paycheck). Not the end of the world, but not what we were expecting (hmmm...this seems to be the theme of this past year)

Of course, being the rational person that I am, I freaked out. After talking me down off the ledge, John assured me that it was going to be okay, that it was still enough to pay for the cruise, and that he did not want me to even think about trying to cancel. He said that he would rather spend the money than have me regret not spending that time with my family.

I talked to my mom about it the next day and was encouraged to hear her say basically the same thing. She's been reading the new book by Kerry Shook and said that it is teaching her how to make the most of each day and to be concerned about how she invests her time, not just her money. I also talked to my good friend, Holly Guyon, about it this week. For those of you who do not know, Holly is younger than me and recently lost her husband to cancer. We used to be close and have thankfully been given another chance to be close again, even though we live very far apart now. She said, "my perspective on quality time has changed so much, seriously, it's just money compared to quality time and memories that you won't ever get back...so if you're ever torn between not going or going you should GO!"

So, instead of feeling like a selfish brat for spending the little bit of tax money that we are getting back (and still trying not to feel like a horrible wife for taking a vacation without my incredibly generous husband), I am looking forward to the cruise again. I am really focused on making each moment count and to come home with a head full of memories and not just a bathing suit bottom full of sand.